Today started out as normal as it get be. I know to well that it's the birthday of RC's date. A celebration is at hand but I didn't think about it.
Just thinking of what's ahead of me at work will take my mind off it. I was able to chat with him around lunch time to ask if he did enjoy the event last night. It was a nice talk... i avoided mentioning the other topic.
The afternoon meeting that I had was nice. Really went well but ended late so I had to do some OT. Got to chat with him again but this time he told me about his birthday. They will meet up at around 8pm, have dinner and he told me that we may then go to Malate and maybe party for a bit. Maybe this is a good consolation, hey at least I'm a bit happy for that.
I had dinner plans that night so I told him to just text if we will be going or not. Even more surprise was when I received a call from him. It was a nice conversation... sweet but it was mostly about him. I don't think I could take this anymore. I told him to take care.
I enjoyed the company of my friends but I can't stop thinking about him. I was really looking forward to see him.
I was dead tired when I got home but if he is going to meet up with me in Malate, it will be enough to give me a boost. Texted him if he will be going and got a reply....
He and his date will be sleeping together for the night....
Friday, September 3, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The eve of his birthday
I was actually referring to the eve of his partner's birthday. Tomorrow will be his birthday, September 3. I'm sure they will be together, celebrating the occassion...
He actually made up with his partner yesterday. Just got the news today. I want to feel happy for you but I couldn't. I'm happy as long as you're happy. I should be. I cant..
I suppose the few moments that I was happy last Sunday (Monday morning) will be something that I can cherish forever. I really thought that it was over between you two and I may finally come in and start things a new. Maybe it was not meant to be but I am not giving up.
I like you a lot RC... trying to work while bearing a heavy heart is hard. Trying to hold back tears at work is quite difficult. I shouldn't be affected by this at all. Why do I have to fall for you?
He actually made up with his partner yesterday. Just got the news today. I want to feel happy for you but I couldn't. I'm happy as long as you're happy. I should be. I cant..
I suppose the few moments that I was happy last Sunday (Monday morning) will be something that I can cherish forever. I really thought that it was over between you two and I may finally come in and start things a new. Maybe it was not meant to be but I am not giving up.
I like you a lot RC... trying to work while bearing a heavy heart is hard. Trying to hold back tears at work is quite difficult. I shouldn't be affected by this at all. Why do I have to fall for you?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The perfect weekend
I promise not to tell this to anybody so I will be putting it all here at my blog just to let it all out.....
Last Sunday was the best day of my life.
Let's just start at the evening when the usual badminton schedule started. As expected, he was there. Even more surprised that he hugged me even if I was still quite wet with sweat. Even better, I finally was able to beat him at badminton. It wa perfect.
We we're all planning to go to a bar afterwards as it will be a long weekend. It was exciting as all of us will be together in one place. He then received a text message that will affect that night. It seems that he and his current partner. He started to tell me that it was not going to well.
Maybe it was faith but the others did not want to go out so it was just the two of us to go. We got a cab and while inside he let it all out. He is really angry at the guy now and wanted to punch him. He was clearly frustrated.
I started to console him as he went on to say that his past partners were all the wrong decisions. I wanted him to forget about these things and at least enjoy the night. We went to his favorite bar in Malate where we met his friends.
The night went on as usual. Both of us had fun as we drank some liquor. I got to talk to his friends. He drank too much that night though. He was really funny yet weird at the same time. He talked nonsense but he stayed cute. I wasn't expecting that he will be vomiting afterwards. Feeling worried, I cose to stay there with him no matter what. It was my first time to see him that way.
I wouldn't forget these lines.. He said "Stay here with me until I'm not drunk anymore". I told him that I will never leave him no matter what. I then decided to absent myself for that day. This will allow me not to focus on my shift and just stay there with him until he's OK. He was really heavy but it's a good thing his friends where there to help me while we guided him to the sink.
Around 6 in the morning, we had breakfast but he was still quite drunk.We took our bags afterwards and I got him a cab home. I shouldve have stayed with him since I found out that he fell asleep aftwards in the cab. Maybe next time. However, hearing him say to me "Text me when you get home" was priceless. I finally gave him a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye.
I texted him once I got home. I finally get to tell him that I like him in the middle. It was well hidden so I'm not sure if he got it but still...
He texted me that he was happy that I was now friends with his friends. I do hope that it can be more than friends...
Last Sunday was the best day of my life.
Let's just start at the evening when the usual badminton schedule started. As expected, he was there. Even more surprised that he hugged me even if I was still quite wet with sweat. Even better, I finally was able to beat him at badminton. It wa perfect.
We we're all planning to go to a bar afterwards as it will be a long weekend. It was exciting as all of us will be together in one place. He then received a text message that will affect that night. It seems that he and his current partner. He started to tell me that it was not going to well.
Maybe it was faith but the others did not want to go out so it was just the two of us to go. We got a cab and while inside he let it all out. He is really angry at the guy now and wanted to punch him. He was clearly frustrated.
I started to console him as he went on to say that his past partners were all the wrong decisions. I wanted him to forget about these things and at least enjoy the night. We went to his favorite bar in Malate where we met his friends.
The night went on as usual. Both of us had fun as we drank some liquor. I got to talk to his friends. He drank too much that night though. He was really funny yet weird at the same time. He talked nonsense but he stayed cute. I wasn't expecting that he will be vomiting afterwards. Feeling worried, I cose to stay there with him no matter what. It was my first time to see him that way.
I wouldn't forget these lines.. He said "Stay here with me until I'm not drunk anymore". I told him that I will never leave him no matter what. I then decided to absent myself for that day. This will allow me not to focus on my shift and just stay there with him until he's OK. He was really heavy but it's a good thing his friends where there to help me while we guided him to the sink.
Around 6 in the morning, we had breakfast but he was still quite drunk.We took our bags afterwards and I got him a cab home. I shouldve have stayed with him since I found out that he fell asleep aftwards in the cab. Maybe next time. However, hearing him say to me "Text me when you get home" was priceless. I finally gave him a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye.
I texted him once I got home. I finally get to tell him that I like him in the middle. It was well hidden so I'm not sure if he got it but still...
He texted me that he was happy that I was now friends with his friends. I do hope that it can be more than friends...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The bus, the universe and the news
This week was weird.
Firstly, he was able to come and play for the 2nd Sunday in a row. This really made me happy. I enjoyed how we talked. His eyes and his smile were a sight for sore eyes. Sadly, he left before me but for the 1st time he sent me a SMS na nagpapaalam. It was really nice. Promising that we will all go to P2 come Sunday.
The next day was a shocker.. a hijack situation or something concerning Chinese nationals. Sad day for the Philippines. However, Ms. Universe is looms in the horizon... this will be the night that I won't forget.
Saw him online in Facebook and attempted a small talk. He is having problems with his date. According to him, he is loosing his interest with him. I really don't know how to react but I'm somewhat happy. I don't want to sound selfish but I gave him advices in a sense that I try to avoid telling good points. Just focusing in his work did help and I do wish him well. It was the longest time that we chatted in Facebook.
The next day was Miss Universe 2010. I woke up really early just to prepare for the biggest event of the year. At around 9, i got a text from him asking what channel it was. He finally called me (I was about to faint) and asked the channel. Hearing our country to be called after 10 years was the best feeling ever.. Although we lost, having to talk to him almost the entire day was the best ever.
Hope this becomes something more than I would like. I like you a lot...
Firstly, he was able to come and play for the 2nd Sunday in a row. This really made me happy. I enjoyed how we talked. His eyes and his smile were a sight for sore eyes. Sadly, he left before me but for the 1st time he sent me a SMS na nagpapaalam. It was really nice. Promising that we will all go to P2 come Sunday.
The next day was a shocker.. a hijack situation or something concerning Chinese nationals. Sad day for the Philippines. However, Ms. Universe is looms in the horizon... this will be the night that I won't forget.
Saw him online in Facebook and attempted a small talk. He is having problems with his date. According to him, he is loosing his interest with him. I really don't know how to react but I'm somewhat happy. I don't want to sound selfish but I gave him advices in a sense that I try to avoid telling good points. Just focusing in his work did help and I do wish him well. It was the longest time that we chatted in Facebook.
The next day was Miss Universe 2010. I woke up really early just to prepare for the biggest event of the year. At around 9, i got a text from him asking what channel it was. He finally called me (I was about to faint) and asked the channel. Hearing our country to be called after 10 years was the best feeling ever.. Although we lost, having to talk to him almost the entire day was the best ever.
Hope this becomes something more than I would like. I like you a lot...
Friday, August 20, 2010
The worst day of my life part 2
Imagine liking a person so much and finally falling for him. Imagine that even the simplest things that has done makes you happy. A simple SMS, a simple reply via Facebook even a simple embrace will make your world stop.
You would wish that everything would fall into place and you will be together. You may have some second thoughts as he may also be seeing someone else and that is a possibility. It is a nagging feeling since you are not a couple per say. But hearing it directly from him and choosing you as the one to tell it to... it felt like my world has ended.
After he had said those words, I just couldn't react. He kept on telling me how he know this guy for a year and from there he already knew that he would like him to be his partner. He kept on telling me how this guys told him all his dark secrets. He kept on telling me how he and this guy have a lot of similarities. How they talked about rabbits and other random stuff. He told me that it was quite scary that they have a lot of things in common. He was so happy as he told me all of these things. I felt like a mountain fell on top of me. I thought to myself "Somebody shoot me right now...". I just want to disappear into nothingness. Feeling a martyr, I just acknowledged all those things. I never mentioned that I was happy for him but I think I never showed that it affected me. Bring out my poker face.
He even told me the times when the guy slept over his place and he did the same. How he wanted the guy to befriend his mom so it will be legal. Even the stuff that I wouldn't want to know... now I know it all. I felt like a drowning person trying to look for something to cling upon. I was able to change the topic about his work... at least.
He really hated his job due to a tyranical dicatator of a boss. According to him, IT doesn't (i will use IT as I also have a similar boss before so I perfectly understand) even appreciate his works. It only wants what it wants. That is the reason why people are leaving the company. He is planning to move to the most prestigious advertising agency in the country. I truly wish him luck in this endeavour. He then told me that he doesn't want to choose between love and career. I wish he will choose career but that would make me a terrible person. He wants to have this dream job and have this person to be along him for support... I will support your career wherever it will go... If he only knew.
I did try to make myself happy as I talked about how his works which I am really impressed. Being as an art lover, I told him that I was happy to know someone with his talent. He would show me his works one of these days. That made me smile at least.
I never realized that it was 4 hours of talking. I never wanted it to stop but he noticed the time. It was the 1st time for us to have a talk this long. He said his apologies since I still have work but I really didn't mind. I told him that I would want to have a conversation like this anymore (sans the lovelife I hope, but I think that is quite impossible). As an ending note, he said that he never told these stories to anybody yet except for me. That gave me the impression that I was a person whom he finds trustworthy and his comfort zone. Albeit I find it as a complement, I just couldn't believe that he chose to tell me out of all of his friends.
I was the wrong person to know all of these things! What have I done to deserve this? Is it because I gave 200% effort in the process of knowing him? I looked stupid trying to play badminton just to see and know him and now he drops this bomb on me...
He thanked me as we parted ways and again said his apologies. I hadn't had a normal sleep since that time...
Miss Universe 2010 is just around the corner... I should be excited... I am not...
You would wish that everything would fall into place and you will be together. You may have some second thoughts as he may also be seeing someone else and that is a possibility. It is a nagging feeling since you are not a couple per say. But hearing it directly from him and choosing you as the one to tell it to... it felt like my world has ended.
After he had said those words, I just couldn't react. He kept on telling me how he know this guy for a year and from there he already knew that he would like him to be his partner. He kept on telling me how this guys told him all his dark secrets. He kept on telling me how he and this guy have a lot of similarities. How they talked about rabbits and other random stuff. He told me that it was quite scary that they have a lot of things in common. He was so happy as he told me all of these things. I felt like a mountain fell on top of me. I thought to myself "Somebody shoot me right now...". I just want to disappear into nothingness. Feeling a martyr, I just acknowledged all those things. I never mentioned that I was happy for him but I think I never showed that it affected me. Bring out my poker face.
He even told me the times when the guy slept over his place and he did the same. How he wanted the guy to befriend his mom so it will be legal. Even the stuff that I wouldn't want to know... now I know it all. I felt like a drowning person trying to look for something to cling upon. I was able to change the topic about his work... at least.
He really hated his job due to a tyranical dicatator of a boss. According to him, IT doesn't (i will use IT as I also have a similar boss before so I perfectly understand) even appreciate his works. It only wants what it wants. That is the reason why people are leaving the company. He is planning to move to the most prestigious advertising agency in the country. I truly wish him luck in this endeavour. He then told me that he doesn't want to choose between love and career. I wish he will choose career but that would make me a terrible person. He wants to have this dream job and have this person to be along him for support... I will support your career wherever it will go... If he only knew.
I did try to make myself happy as I talked about how his works which I am really impressed. Being as an art lover, I told him that I was happy to know someone with his talent. He would show me his works one of these days. That made me smile at least.
I never realized that it was 4 hours of talking. I never wanted it to stop but he noticed the time. It was the 1st time for us to have a talk this long. He said his apologies since I still have work but I really didn't mind. I told him that I would want to have a conversation like this anymore (sans the lovelife I hope, but I think that is quite impossible). As an ending note, he said that he never told these stories to anybody yet except for me. That gave me the impression that I was a person whom he finds trustworthy and his comfort zone. Albeit I find it as a complement, I just couldn't believe that he chose to tell me out of all of his friends.
I was the wrong person to know all of these things! What have I done to deserve this? Is it because I gave 200% effort in the process of knowing him? I looked stupid trying to play badminton just to see and know him and now he drops this bomb on me...
He thanked me as we parted ways and again said his apologies. I hadn't had a normal sleep since that time...
Miss Universe 2010 is just around the corner... I should be excited... I am not...
The worst day of my life part 1
Let's start on August 14, 2010. It was my first time to play badminton at a place call "The Zone". It was a really nice place complete with a basketball court and new people to meet. He previously suggested this place to me. I sent him a text saying that he was right about the place. I got a reply in a few minutes. It made my day....
August 15, 2010, I woke up at around the afternoon as I went on a night-out after badminton. This will be the 2nd week that I haven't seen him. Feeling depressed, I just made a post in Facebook stating that I liked Sundays before but now it seems like a normal day. I then continued on to prepare my gear for the evening.
My depression soon disappeared when I got a text from him asking me if i will be playing that night. Everyone noticed it at home that I was smiling again. For the past two weeks, I always came in around after 6PM at the court. Things will be back to normal for me.
I was actually pretty early. There was still a company tournament so we had to wait. After playing my 1st game, he finally arrived. You couldn't believe how happy I was to see him. So what if this is unrequited love? I'm actually quite used to it. But still, my heart leaped as he walked towards me. I was shocked as he gave me a hug. It was like he was happy to see me as well.
The day was a euphoria for me. I enjoyed every minute that we talked in court. We played again together as partners (we horribly lost) but it was worth it. Won some matches but the coup de grace was us playing our iPhone MP3s as a background music. He was really funny and cute while he tried to dance.
At last my Sundays were complete again. We even shared a chocolate cake that I brought (I knew he is prone to be hungry at every badminton session so I intentionally brought it for him). All went smoothly as we all ate our dinner afterwards at Metrowalk. However, I did notice that he wants to tell me something...
Our companions all left together as they lived near each other. Leaving us two to walk towards the taxi stand. It was just a few steps but I will forever remember his opening statement... "I'm seeing someone and according to him, today will be our 1st day of being exlcusively dating..."
August 15, 2010, I woke up at around the afternoon as I went on a night-out after badminton. This will be the 2nd week that I haven't seen him. Feeling depressed, I just made a post in Facebook stating that I liked Sundays before but now it seems like a normal day. I then continued on to prepare my gear for the evening.
My depression soon disappeared when I got a text from him asking me if i will be playing that night. Everyone noticed it at home that I was smiling again. For the past two weeks, I always came in around after 6PM at the court. Things will be back to normal for me.
I was actually pretty early. There was still a company tournament so we had to wait. After playing my 1st game, he finally arrived. You couldn't believe how happy I was to see him. So what if this is unrequited love? I'm actually quite used to it. But still, my heart leaped as he walked towards me. I was shocked as he gave me a hug. It was like he was happy to see me as well.
The day was a euphoria for me. I enjoyed every minute that we talked in court. We played again together as partners (we horribly lost) but it was worth it. Won some matches but the coup de grace was us playing our iPhone MP3s as a background music. He was really funny and cute while he tried to dance.
At last my Sundays were complete again. We even shared a chocolate cake that I brought (I knew he is prone to be hungry at every badminton session so I intentionally brought it for him). All went smoothly as we all ate our dinner afterwards at Metrowalk. However, I did notice that he wants to tell me something...
Our companions all left together as they lived near each other. Leaving us two to walk towards the taxi stand. It was just a few steps but I will forever remember his opening statement... "I'm seeing someone and according to him, today will be our 1st day of being exlcusively dating..."
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Diary Entries
I should have started this blog from the first time I saw you. As I check my iPhone, I do have entries posted in some days and all of them are about you. As I look on these entries, I noticed that I had slowly fallen for you as the days have gone by...
*June 6 2010, 4.43am:
"I can't wait for badminton. I want to see you so bad"
*June 7 2010, 4.47am:
He was so happy last night. He seems to be enjoying with whom he is texting with. This person is the most lucky guy ever.
I did enjoy being with him but felt really jealous.
I like you a lot. I want to spend more time with you other than our once a week meetings.
I can't stop thinking about you....
*June 9 2010, 8.02am
Yesterday was weird. Work was so hectic it gave me a headache.
Got to attend a lot of meetings and trainings. Did an OT for around 3 hours.
Finally I got a text from him. It's about him dyeing his hair black. He claims that he looks like an emo. I think it's cool. I can't wait to see him :-)
*June 10, 2010, 12.22PM
I miss him. I can't wait till Sunday. At least thinking about him makes me forget all the pressure at work.
*June 15, 2010, 8.48PM
It's been a while. Last Sunday was the best ever! I got to spend more time with him than ever before!
He was so cute! I felt like I was floating in the clouds! The way he whispered in my ears were like heaven.
I will forever keep our picture taken that time. I have fallen for him. I can't stop thinking about him.
Advanced happy birthday to you...
*June 17, 2010, 8.37 AM
I hope wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you are safe. I care a lot for you.
I do not know what will happen this Saturday. It will be your birthday. It doesn't matter if I don't get invited to your party. As long as I still get to see you on Sunday. I will be giving you a gift. I still don't know what to give you.
God I miss you so much. I have really fallen for you.
*June 21, 2010, 4.25PM
Greeted him a happy birthday. Gave my gift yesterday. It's official, I'm in love with him.
*July 19, 2010, 1.28AM
Had fun at the tourny since he was there. My heart leaped at the moment I saw him.
I'm so in love with you.
*July 26, 2010, 9.01AM
I want to see you again so bad. O finally won 2 games and played my first ever 3-setter. I wish you were there.
Thanks for at least replying to my PM last night. I appreciate that so much.
*August 7, 2010, 11.31PM
He thanked me at a reply that I made to his post. Texted him if he wants to go out but never got a reply.
OMG, I really want to see him or talk to him again. I'm so in love with you...
*August 16, 2010, 10.46AM
A.J. What a small world. Two of my agent's know him. One was his student and one was his schoolmate. He will be his new possible partner. My world has ended.
I will stay with you till the very end. Always remember that I will always love you...
*June 6 2010, 4.43am:
"I can't wait for badminton. I want to see you so bad"
*June 7 2010, 4.47am:
He was so happy last night. He seems to be enjoying with whom he is texting with. This person is the most lucky guy ever.
I did enjoy being with him but felt really jealous.
I like you a lot. I want to spend more time with you other than our once a week meetings.
I can't stop thinking about you....
*June 9 2010, 8.02am
Yesterday was weird. Work was so hectic it gave me a headache.
Got to attend a lot of meetings and trainings. Did an OT for around 3 hours.
Finally I got a text from him. It's about him dyeing his hair black. He claims that he looks like an emo. I think it's cool. I can't wait to see him :-)
*June 10, 2010, 12.22PM
I miss him. I can't wait till Sunday. At least thinking about him makes me forget all the pressure at work.
*June 15, 2010, 8.48PM
It's been a while. Last Sunday was the best ever! I got to spend more time with him than ever before!
He was so cute! I felt like I was floating in the clouds! The way he whispered in my ears were like heaven.
I will forever keep our picture taken that time. I have fallen for him. I can't stop thinking about him.
Advanced happy birthday to you...
*June 17, 2010, 8.37 AM
I hope wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you are safe. I care a lot for you.
I do not know what will happen this Saturday. It will be your birthday. It doesn't matter if I don't get invited to your party. As long as I still get to see you on Sunday. I will be giving you a gift. I still don't know what to give you.
God I miss you so much. I have really fallen for you.
*June 21, 2010, 4.25PM
Greeted him a happy birthday. Gave my gift yesterday. It's official, I'm in love with him.
*July 19, 2010, 1.28AM
Had fun at the tourny since he was there. My heart leaped at the moment I saw him.
I'm so in love with you.
*July 26, 2010, 9.01AM
I want to see you again so bad. O finally won 2 games and played my first ever 3-setter. I wish you were there.
Thanks for at least replying to my PM last night. I appreciate that so much.
*August 7, 2010, 11.31PM
He thanked me at a reply that I made to his post. Texted him if he wants to go out but never got a reply.
OMG, I really want to see him or talk to him again. I'm so in love with you...
*August 16, 2010, 10.46AM
A.J. What a small world. Two of my agent's know him. One was his student and one was his schoolmate. He will be his new possible partner. My world has ended.
I will stay with you till the very end. Always remember that I will always love you...
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